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- š Wall Street steadies as Nvidia loses..
š Wall Street steadies as Nvidia loses..
Nvidia and Palantir took early hits, but somehow bounced back..
Welcome, Noodle Networkers.
Wall Street played emotional Jenga again šāNvidia and Palantir took early hits, but somehow bounced back like a cat that heard the treat bag. The lesson? Never underestimate the power of GPU hype and investor FOMO. Over at Google, the AI flexing continues š. They just demoed features that Apple still hasnāt figured out, proving once again that Siri might need a sabbatical⦠or a reboot. And an MIT report says 95% of enterprise AI pilots are face-planting š. Apparently, slapping āAIā on your PowerPoint doesnāt magically generate profits. Who knew?
Is AI revolutionizing the worldāor just recycling buzzwords while your chatbot forgets your name? Letās get into it...
In todayās AI digest:
Wall Street steadies as Nvidia and Palantir trim early losses š
Google shows off new AI features Apple couldnāt deliver š
MIT report finds 95% of enterprise AI pilots are failing š
Read time: 5 minute
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WHATāS HAPPENING TODAY
(source: TimesColonist)
š The Digest: Wall Street had a mood swing todayāstarting with an āoh no, my AI stocks are crashingā vibe before settling into ānever mind, weāre fine.ā Nvidia and Palantir trimmed their early losses, helping the market look less like a rollercoaster and more like a slightly tipsy seesaw. Investors can finally unclench⦠for now.
Key Highlights:
š» Nvidia: Still the Teacherās Pet ā After wobbling at the open, Nvidiaās stock calmed down faster than a server room after the AC kicks in. Investors still treat it like the golden child who canāt do wrong (even when it definitely could).
š°ļø Palantir: Data Prophet or Drama Queen? ā Palantirās been sliding for days, but today it hit the brakes. Investors canāt decide if itās the future of AI-powered defense or just a really expensive Excel with a Batman aesthetic.
š Market Mood: Cautiously Optimistic ā The S&P and Nasdaq both steadied, proving that nothing soothes investors like realizing their favorite AI stocks arenāt imploding⦠theyāre just doing a little yoga stretch.
š¤ Wall Streetās Coping Mechanism ā Traders basically went from āsell everythingā to āeh, maybe notā in under an hour. Itās the financial equivalent of rage-quitting a video game, then logging back in five minutes later.
Why It Matters: The AI stock party isnāt over, but itās definitely showing signs of a hangover. Nvidia and Palantir remain the DJ and bouncer of the hype clubāif they stumble, everyone feels it. For now though, the musicās still playing, the strobe lights are on, and the marketās pretending last nightās bad tequila decisions never happened. So yeah, Wall Street is steady⦠in the way your uncle is āsteadyā after his third whiskey sour. š¹šš§
(source: Sherwood)
š The Digest: Google just one-upped Apple by actually shipping AI features instead of promising themāand itās giving ātalk less, code moreā energy. At its Pixel 10 event, Google rolled out AI tricks for your camera, messages, and even your wrist, while Appleās still acting like Siriās in witness protection.
Key Details:
šø Camera Coach, But Make It Judgy ā Pixel 10 now gives you live AI photo advice, like a backseat photographer who thinks itās Annie Leibovitz. Meanwhile, iPhone users are still waiting for the day Siri can reliably set a timer.
š§āāļø Magic Cue to the Rescue ā Googleās āMagic Cueā digs through your inbox so when you call an airline, your flight info just pops up. Appleās equivalent is⦠digging through your Gmail manually while wondering why you paid $1,200 for this.
ā Pixel Watch 4 Gets Brainier ā The new watch uses Gemini AI to coach workouts and manage your day. Apple Watch? Still celebrating the huge innovation of ādouble tap.ā
š¼ļø Photos Glow-Up ā Google Photos now animates your old shots into videos and collages. Appleās Memories feature, in comparison, is basically a moody slideshow that always picks the worst pictures of you.
Why It Matters (and Why Itās Funny): Google showed up to the AI race with a toolbox, while Apple showed up with a brochure. Itās like Google catered the AI party with sushi and champagne, and Apple wandered in late carrying a half-eaten bag of chips. So yeah, while iPhone users are stuck asking Siri if it can finally understand them, Pixel owners will be out here making cinematic edits of their pets. š¶š¬
MIT
(source: YahooFinance)
š The Digest: MIT just handed out a report card on enterprise AIāand the grade is a big fat F. Turns out 95% of AI pilots are basically expensive science fair projects that never leave the poster board. Companies keep bragging about āAI transformation,ā but behind the curtain itās just Clippy with a new haircut.
Key Highlights:
𤦠Pilot Purgatory ā Only 5% of projects actually delivered measurable results. The rest? Stuck in endless āproof of conceptā limbo, like startups that never make it past the garage.
šļø Workflow Woes ā The problem isnāt the AIāitās that companies canāt figure out how to fit it into their existing processes. Imagine buying a Ferrari and then realizing your driveway is too small.
šø All the Wrong Places ā Most firms threw money at sales and marketing gimmicks while the real ROI was in boring stuff like automating the back office. Shiny pitch decks won, accountants lost.
š Outsource > DIY ā Off-the-shelf AI works twice as well as custom builds, but companies still insist on reinventing the wheel. Spoiler: their wheel is square.
š©āš» Shadow AI Rising ā Employees are secretly using ChatGPT at work anyway. Itās the office equivalent of sneaking snacks into the movie theaterācheaper, faster, and way less embarrassing.
Why It Matters (and Why Itās Kinda Funny): Enterprises have poured tens of billions into AI, only to discover theyāre basically paying for very smart paperweights. The real bottleneck? Humans. Weāre great at buying tools, terrible at actually using them. So yeah, enterprise AI today is less ārevolutionā and more āexpensive intern who still needs supervision.ā If businesses donāt learn how to actually integrate these tools, their next big innovation might just be renaming the intern āAI Strategy Manager.ā At this point, the biggest AI breakthrough many companies need isnāt a new modelāitās a new org chart. š¬š¤š
THE NOODLE LAB
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How-to:
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