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Tech Tidbits: OpenAI Ditches Non-Profit Roots, Meta’s AR Glasses Reveal, Mira Murati Exit, SEC’s Slap on Late Filers, FTC’s AI Crackdown, and PayPal’s Crypto Leap

September 26, 2024

Hey there, Noodle Networkers! It's time to boot up and log in to today's digital diary. The tech world is buzzing with new developments, and we're here to decode these bytes for you. So, let's dive into the silicon soup of today’s tech tales!

OpenAI’s Non-Profit No More: Sam Altman Grabs Equity

Exclusive news from OpenAI: the company is set to ditch its non-profit control and give CEO Sam Altman equity. Looks like the whole “doing good for the world” thing wasn’t quite paying the bills, so now Altman is getting a piece of the pie, too. It’s the latest episode in the saga of AI becoming the most lucrative thing since... well, everything. Move over charity—there’s money to be made, and Altman’s ready to collect.

Mira Murati Exit: OpenAI's Brain Drain?

OpenAI’s tech chief, Mira Murati, is heading for the exit. While Murati has been crucial to OpenAI’s innovations, her departure raises questions about what’s next for the company. As the world wonders whether she’s off to start her own AI venture or simply tired of having to teach the machines manners, OpenAI is left asking: who’s going to keep our robots from taking over the office?

Meta’s AR Glasses: Orion Prototype Unveiled

Meta has lifted the curtain on its augmented-reality glasses with the Orion prototype, showing the world that wearing glasses can officially make you look like you’ve stepped out of a sci-fi film. Forget virtual cat ears on your Zoom calls—now you can have a whole virtual cat sitting on your shoulder. Meta's AR dreams are becoming reality, one pair of dorky-but-cool glasses at a time.

Alphabet and Goldman Sachs Settle SEC Charges: Better Late Than Never

Alphabet, Goldman Sachs, and others have agreed to settle charges over late filings, showing that even tech giants and finance titans can struggle with their homework. The SEC’s slap on the wrist is a reminder that filing paperwork, no matter how boring, is part of the game. Alphabet and Goldman are paying up so they can move on and get back to the important stuff—like running the world’s most powerful tech and financial empires.

FTC’s AI Crackdown: Beware of Deceptive Robo-Salesmen

The FTC has announced a crackdown on deceptive AI claims and schemes, sending a message to companies that they can’t just slap "AI-powered" on every product and call it revolutionary. From dubious AI-powered toasters to scammy robo-investment advice, the FTC is putting its foot down. The days of AI snake oil salesmen might finally be numbered—now if only they could figure out how to teach AI to stop promising to “solve all your problems.”

PayPal’s Crypto Leap: Merchants, Meet Bitcoin

PayPal is taking another big step into the crypto world, allowing U.S. merchants to buy, hold, and sell cryptocurrency. Now your local coffee shop might just accept Bitcoin with your latte order. Who needs cash when you’ve got crypto? PayPal’s making it easier than ever to blend your love of coffee and complex financial transactions. Just don’t forget to check the exchange rate before you tip the barista.

Stay tuned to The Noodle Network for more insights into the fascinating world of tech and AI, where we bring you the latest developments with our signature blend of humor and expertise. 🍜💾🤖