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- 🍜 Meta beats the case..
🍜 Meta beats the case..
Meta Platforms has just dodged a shareholder lawsuit over child safety...
Anthony Lessard
October 23, 2024
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The Noodle Network Tech and AI: Seasoned with a Dash of Humor
Tech Tidbits: Qualcomm + Alphabet's Automotive AI, Meta’s Courtroom Win, BlackRock’s AI Frenzy, Altair’s Sale Rumors, Roblox's Turkish Comeback, and Amazon’s Temu Takedown
October 23, 2024
Hey there, Noodle Networkers! It's time to boot up and log in to today's digital diary. The tech world is buzzing with new developments, and we're here to decode these bytes for you. So, let's dive into the silicon soup of today’s tech tales!
Qualcomm and Alphabet have teamed up to tackle automotive AI, proving that even your car’s brain is about to get a serious upgrade. Forget cruise control—this new partnership is set to bring self-driving smarts to the next level, along with voice assistants that will politely suggest better driving routes and maybe even judge your parallel parking. And with Mercedes signing a chip deal to fuel this AI-powered ride, the future of driving might involve more algorithms than actual driving. Who’s ready to hand the keys over to their car and enjoy the AI-chauffeured experience?
Meta Platforms has just dodged a shareholder lawsuit over child safety claims, leaving Mark Zuckerberg to breathe a sigh of relief—at least for now. In this case, Meta’s defense seems to have been stronger than the temptation of yet another trending dance challenge. It looks like the tech giant won’t be held accountable for the time your teen spends doom-scrolling instead of doing homework. Zuckerberg’s legal team is probably celebrating with a well-deserved scroll through Instagram, knowing they’ve bought Meta some more time to figure out its youth problem.
BlackRock, never one to miss out on a trend, is jumping on the AI bandwagon with the launch of two new ETFs. It’s Wall Street’s way of saying, “We like AI too, but we’ll charge you for it.” These funds are designed to tap into the current AI frenzy, so if you’ve got a dollar to spare and a belief in the power of machine learning, BlackRock is ready to turn your cash into (potential) AI gold. Expect terms like “deep learning” and “neural networks” to start popping up in your next investment pitch.
Altair, the engineering software firm, is reportedly exploring a sale, according to sources who probably sent their info via encrypted group chat. The company is apparently looking for buyers, but with engineering software so valuable, it’s less about “who wants it?” and more about “who can afford it?” While Altair may be weighing its options, one thing’s clear: there’s no engineering solution for finding the perfect buyer. Only time—and maybe a bidding war—will tell.
Roblox is planning to open an office in Turkey, but only if its access to the platform is restored. It’s the digital equivalent of “I’ll move in… if you unblock me first.” Roblox is angling for a Turkish comeback after being locked out, and if they succeed, you can bet they’ll be rolling out plenty of new games to keep Turkish kids entertained (and parents baffled). The kids are probably already waiting with fingers poised for a gaming marathon, but for now, Roblox is stuck in limbo, waiting for the green light to return.
Amazon is reportedly setting ultra-low prices for a new rival store to take on Temu, signaling that the e-commerce giant is ready to wage a price war. It’s the retail equivalent of “Oh, you thought you could undercut us? Hold my drone.” With ultra-low pricing plans in place, Amazon is setting the stage for a showdown, and customers will be the real winners. Who needs a $10 T-shirt when Amazon’s offering it for $5? Let the bargain shopping madness begin.
Stay tuned to The Noodle Network for more insights into the fascinating world of tech and AI, where we bring you the latest developments with our signature blend of humor and expertise. 🍜💾🤖
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