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- 🍜 Tesla cruises on Trump boost..
🍜 Tesla cruises on Trump boost..
Tesla’s stock climbed on news that Trump’s team might roll out federal regulations for...
Anthony Lessard
November 19, 2024
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The Noodle Network Tech and AI: Seasoned with a Dash of Humor
November 19, 2024
Today's tech tales are packed with regulatory drama, AI upgrades, fines, spin-offs, and a Senate hearing. From Google’s Chrome woes to Tesla riding a Trump-fueled wave, here’s a witty take on the latest happenings.
AI startup Perplexity is adding shopping features to its search capabilities, proving that even AI wants to get in on retail therapy. Now, instead of just answering your trivia questions or finding the capital of Burkina Faso, Perplexity can help you snag that perfect pair of sneakers—or whatever else the algorithm decides you need. In the fierce competition against giants like Google and Amazon, Perplexity’s move is a bold bet. Will it make shopping good or just “Perplexingly great”? We’ll leave the semantics to our loyal readers.
Tesla’s stock climbed on news that Trump’s team might roll out federal regulations for self-driving vehicles. Musk must be revving his engines, thinking, “Finally, some rules we like!” If Trump delivers, Tesla could see its robotaxi dreams cruise into reality, assuming the regulations are less “red tape” and more “green light.” For now, investors are giddy, Musk is probably tweeting, and skeptics are just hoping these self-driving cars know how to handle a roundabout.
The DOJ reportedly plans to ask a judge to make Google sell off Chrome, marking a bold new chapter in the tech giant’s antitrust saga. For Google, it’s like being asked to give up your favorite child—except the child also holds the keys to the internet. If the DOJ succeeds, we might see Chrome in the hands of… who? Bing? Mozilla? Someone with a catchy name and a lot of server space, hopefully. One thing’s certain: this is a battle that’ll be interesting, if not great.
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India has slapped WhatsApp with a $25.4 million fine and restricted it from sharing user data with Meta entities. It’s a strong message: “You can’t just pass around our info like it’s a plate of samosas.” WhatsApp now faces stricter scrutiny, and Meta execs are probably scrambling for new ways to connect their platforms without connecting too much. For users, it’s a rare privacy win—assuming they can find their way through the app’s 17 privacy settings.
Goldman Sachs is looking to spin out its digital assets tech platform, because apparently even Wall Street needs to declutter. The move could signal big ambitions for the blockchain side of Goldman’s business—or maybe it’s just a fancy way of saying, “We don’t know what to do with this yet.” Crypto enthusiasts are watching closely, while the rest of us are just trying to remember what NFTs even are.
The US Senate is holding a hearing on Chinese hacking incidents, with lawmakers gearing up to ask the tough questions—or at least the questions they’ve rehearsed. The hearing promises plenty of soundbites about cybersecurity and national defense, as senators grapple with the modern digital battlefield. Meanwhile, hackers are probably tuning in for tips on what not to do next time. Stay tuned for heated debates, patriotic speeches, and maybe even a few tech buzzwords thrown in for good measure.
From Perplexity’s shopping spree and Tesla’s regulatory boost to Google’s Chrome drama and WhatsApp’s privacy fine, today’s tech world is brimming with intrigue. Goldman’s blockchain pivot and the Senate’s hacker hearings round out a lineup that proves there’s never a dull moment in tech. Whether you call it good or great, it’s undeniably entertaining—and that’s something we can all agree on. 🍜💾🤖
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