🍜 Bitcoin’s Big Dip, Market Shakes..

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The Noodle Network Tech and AI: Seasoned with a Dash of Humor

Tech Tidbits: AT&T's Big Tech Funding Pitch, Microsoft-G42’s Huawei Breakup, Paramount’s Price Hike, No Apple-Meta AI Talks, Bitcoin’s Big Dip, and Shopify’s AI Expansion

June 25, 2024

This week’s tech news features funding pitches, strategic deals, price hikes, partnership clarifications, market dips, and feature expansions. From AT&T wanting Big Tech to pay into telecom funds and Microsoft-G42’s deal without Huawei to Paramount’s streaming price increase, Apple and Meta’s lack of AI talks, Bitcoin’s plunge, and Shopify’s AI feature rollout, here’s a humorous take on these tech tales.

AT&T’s Big Tech Funding Pitch: Sharing the Load

AT&T wants Big Tech firms to pay into the telecom and broadband subsidy fund. It’s like asking your wealthier friends to chip in for the pizza you’ve been providing all these years. AT&T argues that companies like Google and Facebook should help fund the infrastructure they heavily rely on. Will Big Tech open their wallets or leave AT&T footing the bill? Stay tuned for this corporate crowdfunding campaign.

Microsoft-G42’s Huawei Breakup: A Positive Spin

The Microsoft-G42 deal is seen as a positive move because it cut ties with Huawei. It’s like breaking up with your high school sweetheart and suddenly everyone thinks you’re a genius. The new partnership is being hailed as a strategic masterstroke, freeing Microsoft from potential geopolitical entanglements. Huawei might be left out in the cold, but for Microsoft and G42, it’s all sunshine and roses.

Paramount’s Price Hike: Streaming Costs Climb

Paramount Global is raising prices for its streaming plans, proving that even in the digital age, nothing is free—except maybe cat videos. It’s like finding out your favorite candy now costs double, but you just can’t quit the sugar. Subscribers will have to decide if their love for Paramount’s content is worth the extra dollars. Time to check the budget or look for new shows to binge elsewhere.

No Apple-Meta AI Talks: The Rumor Mill Grinds On

Apple and Meta are not currently in talks for an AI partnership, dashing hopes for a tech super team. It’s like hearing that Batman and Superman won’t be teaming up for a new movie after all. While the rumor mill had us dreaming of a powerful AI alliance, the reality is more mundane. For now, Apple and Meta are sticking to their own lanes, much to the dismay of tech fans everywhere.

Bitcoin’s Big Dip: Market Shakes

Bitcoin has dropped 7.8% to below $60,000, reminding everyone that the crypto rollercoaster is still in full swing. It’s like watching your favorite amusement park ride suddenly stop mid-loop. Investors are feeling the squeeze as Bitcoin’s value tumbles, but seasoned crypto enthusiasts know this is just part of the game. Buckle up; the ride isn’t over yet.

Shopify’s AI Expansion: Attracting More Businesses

Shopify is expanding access to its AI-powered features to attract more businesses. It’s like offering the keys to a high-tech candy store to every entrepreneur. With these new tools, Shopify hopes to make running an online store easier and more efficient, enticing more businesses to join their platform. Will this sweeten the deal for potential users? Shopify is betting on it.

In the tech world, every week brings new funding pitches, strategic deals, price hikes, partnership rumors, market dips, and feature expansions. From AT&T’s Big Tech funding request and Microsoft-G42’s positive spin to Paramount’s price increase, Apple and Meta’s lack of AI talks, Bitcoin’s dip, and Shopify’s AI feature rollout, the industry never fails to entertain. And sometimes, a bit of humor is just what we need to navigate these twists and turns. 🍜💾🤖