🍜 Bitcoin nears $90,000, thank you, Mr. Trump..

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Tech Tidbits: OpenAI’s Founding Father Returns, Apple’s AI Tablet Rumors, Bitcoin’s Trump Bump, Spotify’s Profit Party, and Visa’s Flexible Payments

November 13, 2024

Today’s tech news serves up reunions, AI gadgets, record-breaking crypto, music-streaming profits, and payment flexibility. From OpenAI’s Greg Brockman making a comeback to Bitcoin’s dizzying surge toward $90K, here’s a humorous take on the latest headlines.

Greg Brockman Returns to OpenAI: Back in the Bot Game

OpenAI co-founder Greg Brockman has returned to the AI maker that brought you ChatGPT, making it clear that once you go AI, you can never really say goodbye. It’s like a reunion episode of Friends but with more algorithms and fewer coffee cups. With Brockman back in the mix, expect ChatGPT to get even wittier, maybe even sassy enough to remind us who’s really in charge. For now, fans of AI can rejoice—one of the original “bot whisperers” is back on the scene.

Apple’s AI Wall Tablet: Siri, Take Over My Living Room

Rumor has it that Apple is gearing up to announce an AI-powered wall tablet as soon as March, essentially creating the smartest piece of wall art ever. Imagine hanging a sleek, Siri-enabled tablet in your living room that responds to “Hey Siri, where’s my phone?” every morning without judgment. It’s like 2001: A Space Odyssey, but with fewer existential threats and more reminders to buy oat milk. If Apple’s device actually hits shelves, your walls might just start knowing you better than your best friend.

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Bitcoin Nears $90,000: Thank You, Mr. Trump

Bitcoin is surging toward an eye-popping $90,000, with a little help from the Trump effect. Speculators are riding the wave as the former president’s boost to crypto sentiment has Bitcoin fans chanting, “To the moon!” Traders who’ve been hodling are feeling vindicated, while crypto skeptics wonder if it’s time to start brushing up on blockchain. Who knows? At this rate, Bitcoin might be buying you coffee and covering your rent before spring.

Spotify’s Profit Forecast: Cutting Costs, Pumping Up the Volume

Spotify is forecasting a profit that’s above analyst estimates, thanks to some strategic belt-tightening and steady user growth. Apparently, cutting back on those “New Release” balloons and trimming podcast production is paying off. With millions still tuning in for playlists and podcasts, Spotify is proving that sometimes less can be more—as long as there’s still enough music for your workout playlist. Wall Street is happy, and listeners can keep jamming, all without skipping a beat.

Visa’s Flexible Payments: Buy Now, Pay When You Remember

Visa has rolled out a new flexible payments feature in the U.S. and UAE, giving customers the chance to buy now, pay whenever it’s convenient. It’s the credit card equivalent of asking for a little breathing room and getting a full-on hammock. With this new feature, Visa users can shop today and decide if they want to pay tomorrow… or next week… or next month. Retail therapy just got a lot more enticing, but let’s hope shoppers don’t get too comfortable stretching out those payments.

From OpenAI’s founding genius returning to Apple’s rumored wall tablet, today’s tech updates are as bold as ever. Bitcoin is flying high on Trump-fueled optimism, Spotify’s tightening its budget while raking in users, and Visa is giving everyone a little more wiggle room at the register. With tech companies innovating from our living rooms to our wallets, we’re ready to see just how futuristic—and entertaining—the world can get.🍜💾🤖